Confessions of a Struggling Actor

First, the back. Since I ran out of painkillers, the pain is more concentrated and I'm more aware of it all the time. I'm hoping things get better over the weekend, so that I can go into work next week and discuss my leaving my job. An agency is interested in representing me, but it's a co-op, which means I'll have to do time in the office either every week or every two weeks. I simply can't turn down this opportunity, as it's a leap in the right direction. There's the possibility of two shows at an excellent venue (that regularly gets industry types in) at the end of the year - working with two separate friends who I admire and really want to work with. It could be a good opportunity to get seen and also, perhaps, get a 'proper' agent out of it. With the US trip still in mind too, there's no harm that can come from this - except financially. I've got a proposal that might mean that I can stay with the same company, but work less hours, but doing low value tasks, while being able to contribute to the editorial side of the book more. This is my first preference as it would mean that I wouldn't go without work and still have a regular wage coming in - albeit at a severly reduced salary. Otherwise, it'll be back to temping for me - unless anyone has any other great ideas...answers on an email please... It's scary as hell to make the decision (and i'm not looking forward to trying to explain my thoughts to my Mum on the pone tomorrow) as I know it could blow up in my face. i just think that I'm on the best financial footing ever and can easily survive the rest of the year and should get enough work (acting or otherwise) to keep my rent, tax, bills covered. Ther is also the pervading feeling that if I don't do this now, I'll really regret it. I've discussed this at length with a few others and they feel that I must make this opportunity count if I want to get further in my chosen field. Othrwise, why am I in London and what have the last nearly 9 years been in aid of? I'm not at the level that will show me off best and I know my best work is to come. I need to make a pro-active decision before I get too old and have more ties. Why not now, while I'm confident in myself and my art? I've started making plans for what I need to do n that front this weekend - nothing strenuous due to my back but certainly there is a lot I can do while I'm not able to physically go anywhere or do anything. That and enjoying the pleasure of friends coming round. I had a couple of quiet days at the start of this week (which is when I started to really contemplate my future) but the past two days have been full of chat and laughs. As the painkillers are finished, I've allowed myself some alcohol, though not a vast amount. I've got a full house tonight and have visitors through the weekend, so am looking forward to it immensely. That and Glasto on the telly...