Confessions of a Struggling Actor

I know I've not blogged for nearly three weeks, but it's down to two main factors:

1) I have been busy both at work and rehearsals

2) There's not much other news...

Work has been steady since the marathon attempts.  With rehearsals picking up in regularity and length, it was a relief not to be under the cosh quite so much.  Unfortunately, I'm now struggling with my workload again.  I know I often say this, but I believe that I'll be gone from here soon.  I'll probably stay until October or so if agents aren't forthcoming from macbeth, but it's too much to do alongside my acting career.  I need to be full time into my acting and fuck the day job.  I'm going to look around for other types of cash earners come August, as I should be about finished my current projects then, as well as being after my operation - scheduled for the 12th june it seems...perfect timing if that's the case - and my holiday.  Suggestions for jobs I can do on a postcard!

As for the acting, I don't think I've thrown myself into anything quite as much as I have for this.  The director had a very definite idea of how he wanted it to look, but left me very much to my own devices in the rehearsal room.  This is probably the best I've been prepared for a show and it's really made a difference in my life.  I'm still trying to follow the GI diet, still been attempting to get more exercise into my routine with a modicum of success.  If it hadn't been for the medical issue with my back, I'd have been even fitter and healthier.  It's made me realise even more how much i need to change to be in the right mental state in order to get further in my chosen art.  It's a massive change for me and I've got to stop trying to change my world in one fell swoop.  Bit by bit over the past year and a half, I've been changing my outlook and my life and hope that it will soon all slip into place without any effort.  mornings are still my enemy, but that's only cause I've not had a weekend to call my own for a while.  I had a couple of epiphanies about what i need to do and how I need to continue should I still be my own representation after the run has finished.  There's no way I can ease up - I need to have my foot on the gas...

Opening night last night went really well.  Director and cast all tired but happy.  Full house, a couple of reviewers and the possibility of an Evening Standard critic (and perhaps a well known national paper) coming in.  Chats with director afterwards - it looks like we'll work together again pretty soon.  I think he's the closest i've come to a Scorcese to my DeNiro.  (Christ, I know I'm confident in my ability, but do realise that I'm not comparing myself to the great one...yet...)  This production has also stirred the need to further my horizons - stage combat classes, keeping up with those in the know more - I can't tell you how excited i am at the minute - words fail me.  If anyone is in London during the run, I urge to come and see it.

I also did the one act play last Sunday and Monday (6th and 7th) which went fine.  It was always going to feel a bit stange as I'd only be doing essentially half the run and it was on someone else's set.  It was still good and the show seemed well liked.  There were some good actors and lovely people working on it and I really enjoyed the brief time we had together - mind you, i always had half an eye on MacB as i had more to learn for it.  marky Mark came in to see it on the same night as denis and the previous night Laura Main popped in, as did Bron and Matt.  The four of us were together again on Saturday night for Bron's 30th, along with Sue and Don, looking very much as happy settled couple.  Apart from that, the only other socialising I've done was to see The Importance of Being Earnest, done by the team that I did Shakespeare with last year.  Some of those casts were in the audience that night and it was nice to catch up.  The show was very good, with the ladies (and I include the man in drag playing Lady Bracknell) superior to the men.  Once again, John and Ben have kept the bar raised and I look forward to seeing their 12th night later in the summer.

Other things - I have a new smart phone to get used to (Sony Ericsson K550i for those who know the difference), Denis is going away for a couple of weekends so I will get some blessed peace, I'm not looking for love anymore as I believe it will find me, can't wait to shave off my beard

I have the show and a Mountview reunion left in May - the rest of the time I intend to sleep.  June will bring my operation, followed by convalesence (during which time, i'll be planning the rest of the year) before a wedding, a run and Benicassim in July.  As well as hopefully catchin up with a few of you from time to time...