Confessions of a Struggling Actor

I hate this time of year.  Mainly as it's cold, there's excess to get rid of (with little motivation) and the tax man comes a-calling.

Thursday night was a bit of a let down.  I met some of the boys in the Rob Roy for the Dons-Hibs match and the 4-1 defeat did nothing but get me annoyed, drunk and eventually having some fags.  The best thing that came of it is that i know what my holiday plans are probably going to be - Benicassim music festival in July.  Sun, sand, tunes til 8am...sounds like bliss.  I'd be going with a select few and am very excited about it.

Friday evening, it was to Bron and Matt's engagement.  I didn't know many people there, but met Don and Nadia (Sue and Mark's new friends) who are both lovely and nice to see both M&S in good places in their love life.  Mine is non-existent, but always ready to take any opportunity that comes my way... I then ended up going to the Phoenix bar, despite trying to leave earlier in the night.  (Bron stopped me and took my jacket off me and ordered me to get a drink.  Bless her!)  I bumped into Moira, who I was at Mountview with and is now a director and we had a good catch up and agreed to meet again soon.  I then sat with Born Matt and a girl who looked like a young Debbie Harry and we talked about Matt's new show, the BAC being threatened to close down and my singledom and agentlessness.  I also had dark rum and pineapple which doesn't sound great, but when you're a little pissed, tasted fine.  Night bus home and up early to get a train.

I'm not going to say too much about my trip the Sheffield.  It was a PR thing at the last minute and I had great reservations whether they could pull it off.  Aging rockers (whose name shall remain secret) were attempting to get the crowd at the Wednesday match to join them in miming along to the track.  The fact that Wednesday were 2-0 down by half time did nothing to help and when the attempt started and the Sunderland fans started chanting 'Who are you?' at them, you could tell this wasn't quite what they envisioned.  They were setting something new so still got credit for it, but way below expectations.  I was then left without any way of making the 5.27 train I had a seat on, so had to get two trams to get to the station and make it back to London at a decent time.  The whole day could be summed up in one phrase - This Is Spinal Tap.  I wish I'd been told about it earlier as I'd have arranged to meet Gabi and Jes, but it wasn't to be - but it will happen soon.

Sunday's football was cancelled so I started the Big Clean, which means I have to go through all my correspondence and paperwork (including tax stuff) and then my clothes to chuck out a heap of stuff I don't wear anymore.  I got stuck in early and then toddled off to meet Tom at a pub near his new abode in Turnpike Lane.  Watched Arsenal win in a pretty good game, then played pool and darts and marvelled at the amazing jukebox and got invited to Burns night by the Scottish landlady.  I like that place already.  I came back and did some more washing, tidying and sorting before getting stuck into series 6 of the West Wing - possibly the greatest series ever...

Last night was 5 a side and shopping, with WW episodes and Film 2007 on TV.  Eye test tonight, followed by a play reading and lunch with Navy Davy tomorrow.  Much as it's tempting, I'm not going to take up the invitation from the landlady and take it easy on Thursday as I have a big indie disco night on Friday with my possible Benicassim partners.  And football and beers on Sunday - if the game goes ahead...

As the Oscar noms are being announced as I type (and the BBC have not asked me back and picked a completely new bunch of tipsters), I do wonder where my break into paid acting will come from.  I'm not getting down about it, but rather wonder what else i need to do to push myself further.  Plans are afoot for my showreel and voice tape, but I don't see where the break will come.  The reason i rate the West Wing so highly (apart from its intelligence, wit, pace, acting, music etc.) is that it gets my head into a 'can-do' situation.  The only thing I'm currently a little negative about is the NY trip as I've done some research and working across there would be nigh on impossible.

What will happen in the next 11.5 months?  Who knows and who dares to dream...