Confessions of a Struggling Actor

Stress is starting to build again.  No flatmate, play is taking all my energy and work is really getting to me again.

The play has had a tough week.  Wednesday and Thursday were both cancelled due to lack of audience, though it didn't help that most of the performers wanted it to happen.  I kept my mouth shut but always have a problem with that - we're in a fortunate position to be actors and if people pay to see us, they deserve a show, no matter how many there are.  Especially if they've paid £12!!  friday night's audience didn't seem to take to the plays - it was almost tumbleweed time - but Saturday's was a kind crowd.  I could kind of do with it all being done now.  With so much else on my plate and the lack of enthusiasm (and manner for the other plays with people talking in the dressing room and being heard on stage) from the rest of the troupe, it doesn't seem the happiest of ships.  I've decided not to send out letters (the printer at work's been playing up anyway) as I don't think it shows any of us off in the best light.  I'm going to do a showcase around feb/march next year - I know a couple of folk who have done this and it's helped them - and finally get my showreel and voice tape on the go.  i think this is now the most important thing i can do rather than more fringe plays of this calibre.

Things were looking good for the flatmate situation - 3 viewings over 2 days last week gave us hope, but Denis cracked on to a friend of one of the viewers (so no joy there), didn't like another (who brought along another bloke who kept changing his story as to his job and they seemed strange to Denis, so...) but one guy seemed to fit the bill perfectly - but he's now found another place.  Geir's all ready to move, so my faint hopes that he wouldn't find somewhere have been dashed.  I'm going to try to get anyone else to see it while I'm there so will have to keep a lot of next week free to hang around, as well as most of the weekend daytimes.  I'm playing football (after making my comeback last night at 5 a side - no pain from the ankle yet) but apart from that I'll have to stay around.  if I get some folk in on Saturday, I might see if I can persuade Charlotte to come to Bond on Sunday - but we'll see.

At work, one of my colleagues has gone.  She resigned after having problems with our boss, but was told she didn't have to work out her notice and had to leave without saying goodbye or anything.  This place is even more mental than normal.  I've got to get out of here but have the old Catch 22 situation regarding income.  Losing a member of the team of course means more work and more pressure and i still have some adjudications to make up for the ones I missed to do this play.  More free time being taken up when I can't afford it.  I feel like I'm losing control - even though i'm drinking less and not smoking and staying away from the wacky baccy.  Mind you some of this is outwith my control - they're just obstacles that have to be cleared...

So I start the final week of the show tonight - I have a few folk in between now and Saturday so at least I'll get to see some friendly faces.  Dougie is down for his birthday at the weekend, so will have to have a drinking head on for that.  Please God let me find a flatmate this week - I'm not fussy, as my current co-habitants show - but I could realy do without history repeating...