Confessions of a Struggling Actor

I want everything to just stop.  Life's simply too busy for my stupid little brain, what with Munich and Dublin adventures.

It was a good time in Germany, all told.  The Guinness stand didn't go quite as I had imagined it, but this was mainly due to the lack of facilities we were supplied with and the incredible heat we've been having.  When it's 34C at 7.30 in the evening, you realise what the footballers had to put up with during the World Cup.  We were supposed to do 4 records, but in fact there was only one that the kids were interested in - target shooting.  Therefore our days were made up of being expensive all boys as most of the kids weren't that great and ended up clearing the goal by some distance and smashing into stands behind us.  There was a bit of tension with these other sponsors as to the danger to both the trucks and to the kids milling about, but we just got on with it.  The heat was incredibly oppressive and even trowelling on Factor 30 wasn't enough to stop me looking like the centre of a nice rare steak.  We had a laugh though and our stand was pretty busy throughout.

The best parts of the trip were the company and the perks.  Perks first - nice hotel with a great breakfast.  Not full British, but every morning I had cereal, scrambled eggs, cheese, ham and turkey with as much OJ/AppleJ and coffee as I could throw down my neck.  Actually, the food has been amazing here and there's lots of it.  Between that and lashings of the best lager in the world, I've put on a little belly.  At the same time, I've been pretty active, with some heavy lifting and chasing about after errand fussballen, as well as the pints of fluid lost with the heat.  Watching the semis on a giant travelling TV in the Olympic Stadium was pretty good too.  (John, I've got some photos on my phone, but they're not fantastic...)  We were given free dinner (again excellent) and free beer, which made it extra special.

The company was terrific all round.  There was heaps of non work chat and it was genuinely a pleasure getting to know Simon and Pam that little better.  As I'd played football and been drinking with Sam a few times, I knew him a lot better (and he was on great form) but I don't get the chance to interact with the TV guys as much as I would like.  When I first met Simon at Work, I thought he was a bit of a d!ck, but he's a very funny, charming and generous guy.  Pam I hardly knew at all.  She's pretty new (then again, it feels like most people in the office are) and I didn't really know much about her.  Before I arrived, I didn't even know she was from Munich!  She was the perfect host and had no problems when Simon, Sam and I would simply point in her direction, saying 'Nicht spreken deutsch.  Die damme Pam spreken Deutsch'.  She also showed us the sights of Munich (as mentioned in the previous post) and introduced us to the delightful Brite und Elke.  Both were taken as it happens, but that didn't stop the flirting.  We went down to Leopoldstrasse after Germany lost and it was quite a sight.  The Germans were in and just outside bars at the side of the street and the Italians were marching up and down the centre - we even saw one bloke 'playing' an air raid siren.

Wednesday night was slightly different.  The event finished (apart from the clear up) and there was a feeling that we should get very drunk indeed.  We watched the France semi with a French keepy uppy record holder who had been with us at our stand.  He seemed like a nice guy, but turned into a bit of a twat when they won.  Our hosts were none too impressed with him, but before we could make a plan on how to lose him, he decided to head to Leopoldstr. to meet his fellow countrymen.  Drew and Rog were supposed to meet me that night, but FIFA got them drunk.  As it was it ended up being fairly mammoth.  Sam started a drinking game that quickly got dropped as it was complicated enough in English, let alone for our German friends to understand.  After leaving our first bar, we then got a cab to a club.  It was indie heaven with the Smiths, Libertines, Artic Monkeys and the like on all night.  The fashions were something out of 1996 (Britpoptops, Adidas tracky tops zipped right up, leather jackets) and I was in my element.  Needless to say the spirit of the dance/pogo got me, tequila was had in quantity and I didn't stop all night.  We even went to another club when that one closed, which played an interesting selection of tunes and I carried on dancing until the two lads called it a night and we walked out into sunshine as it was well past 6.

Next day we weren't up to much (funnily enough) and after finishing the clearing up, we went up the Olympic Tower to get the best view of Munich (which made us slightly queasy) and had a quick bite to eat before heading back to our hotel, where I nearly missed the car to the airport - a theme for the weekend as it happened.  Got back late due to thunderstorms, but re-packed and got myself ready to go on Grant's stag.  I had to pop into work to do some work on the World Cup spread that we're inserting into our book and then had a quick but routine dash to Gatwick to fly to Dublin.  I got in late but met with my Dad and went to a bar to find Grant and the others.  Had a quality afternoon drinking and catching up before getting ridiculously sh!tfaced.  No food was had and we went on to another bar, followed by a club were I remember dancing with some girl - but that's where the memory stopped.  God knows how I made it back to the hotel and Thank God that I managed to get into Grant's room to crash, leaving he and Martyn unable to get in for a long while.

Managed to make breakfast in the morning before heading off to karting, which was more fun than anyone expected.  I'm not sure how many of us were actually fit to be behind a wheel, but the races were competitive though I missed out on the final because of a Schumacher-style shunt by Cliff in the final heat.  Back to the hotel for a game of Pittodrie Brag which Grant and I won and then on to the dogs where we were betting on losers nearly all the way through before we got a syndicate together whose ultimate aim was to buy a vineyard.  We won 109 euros (between 7 of us) before blowing it on the next race, but were winners at the end when our dog won the last race, leaving us all 70 euros richer thanks to Dennis closing his eyes and picking the winner.  Time to celebrate...

We then went to the famous Temple Bar in Dublin where Davo spun a web of deceit to some lovely American girls.  Martyn became an opera singer and I was a professional ballet dancer whose career was cut short due to an injury.  All bollocks, but it was a laugh.  Got a girl's number after asking all and sundry who wanted to join me for tequila and it turns out she lives in London.  Then went on to a club with the American girls and danced like a demon, but being more aware than I was the night before.  Walked them to their night bus and headed back, finding Grant and Martyn on the way.  Then ended up in the resident's lounge, drinking a whisky and chatting to Phil, Ian B, Dennis, Ron D, Cliff, Branston, Grant, Martyn and some South African woman, who was having a family crisis.

Yesterday was a nightmare.  There was a problem with my flight and had to buy another.  It also meant that I missed rehearsal, which was incredibly frustrating; though it gave me plenty time to read my lines.  I also didn't see the entire final.  The second flight was around 5.55 and so I went through though the departure gate to be right there to get on ASAP.  Except that the previous week and the warmth in the lounge led to me falling asleep and awaking just in time to see the gate being disconnected from the plane.  I then had to go back to the BMI desk and plead for them to transfer me at no extra cost.  My Dad paid for the replacement flight and I was alone in the airport with no cash in my bank of on my Visa card. Thankfully they were very understanding and I got home around 12 hours after my first flight should have left.  Unsurprisingly I was absolutely shattered and still don't feel 100% this morning.

The chaos continues this week with rehearsals tonight and Wednesday, Tuesday night booked collecting all my tax stuff together and Mark perhaps coming to dinner and flying up to Grant's wedding on the Thursday afternoon.  Drinking stops completely after this week's efforts - only going to drink wine with food and stop everything else.  I can't afford to go out much over the next while, with France coming up three weeks today.