Confessions of a Struggling Actor

I'm definitely a Shakespeare fan now.  I wasn't that into him before, but by God, when you understand it, it is wicked.

So as you may have guessed, the play has started really well.  For me personally it feels like it has anyway.  Monday night's opening was one of the best opening nights I've been involved in.  Talk about upping the performances!  I was really pleased, particularly in light of a) Gary finally dropping out of the flat as he wouldn't hand over proof of income as he was scared of identity theft - maybe a lucky escape there! - and b) I had around 12 people in all watching, people from work and also Moray and Laura.  Chatted to the two of them afterwards - Moray seemed a little spaced after the exertions of the stag in Munich - and they really enjoyed it and that gave me a real confidence boost.  Headed back to Crouch End with Laura - I'm so pleased we've become good friends again as she's a top lass and it really helps having her there to bounce stuff off (life and work) as she totally gets it - and I hope I do the same for her.

On Tuesday I got round to sending out the packs I had prepared for agents.  After getting the good feedback on Monday, I felt comfortable asking people to come.  I'm always nervous that either the play won't be much cop, or I may not be good enough in it, compared to the others.  In this case it was definitely the latter, but with kind words ringing in my ears I sent them out with confidence.  All in all I've contacted 25 agents and casting directors to see this, but still feel like it won't go anywhere.  I've had two 'Thank you but...' responses and nothing else back.  The show that evening was good again and we nearly had a full house for the second night in a row.

Wednesday was the official opening night, as the first two had been on reduced prices as previews.  The audience numbers dropped, and the performances seemed to as well.  It was still pretty damn good, but the attack wasn't the same and suddenly lines were being dropped or misquoted. It wasn't until Saturday that I had my brain fart, nearly misquoting a line and then yesterday, I skipped the first sentence of one of my big speeches.  (Funnily enough it's little things such as not folding a map properly that throw you, even if it's not apparent immediately.  You lose your concentration in the moment and often it's afterwards that you mess up, when you're trying to get it back.)  There were drinks and nibbles afterwards and I stayed quite late, talking to Craig from Work and my Mountview pals Tom and Moira.  Tom announced he was going to be a dad and just then there was champagne being passed round.  Lots to celebrate, except that the last bus obviously ran ten minutes early and I had to get a cab after waiting for half an hour and with Travel for London pleading ignorance.

Thursday night was my night off and I went to see my mates play at the Archway Tavern.  Their band is No City Fun and they were even better than the last time I saw them in Angel.  They have a gig in Brighton tonight where Louis (vocals) is studying English.  They played a couple of new songs and went down a storm.  Then again, they brought the most people along to the gig, though we all pretty much stayed to the end.  It was good to chat and chill with them and some other lads I knew from my time in Southgate.  No nonsense, talking football, music, girls and films - I don't have that many people I can do that with down here, so it was just what I needed.

Friday, I got told that I'm getting a raise - probably all going straight to the landlord to cover the rent - and then got a slap on the wrist for coming in late.  No mention that I'd actually done my hours by having less of a lunchtime and working after 6, but I don't expect anything else from Work nowadays.  I hope I get this move to the Editorial side.  It'd be much more interesting and suit me better as I get on with that lot far more than the newbies in my current team.  They really frustrate me with work ethic and their inability to remember simple things that I tell them.  That and their superior attitude that they give off.  Gggrrrrrrrr!

I'm getting angrier these days.  Or maybe it's just frustration boiling over.  I get shirty with people who skip ahead of me in queues, I get annoyed with bullshitters or knowingly insensitive people that do stuff just to provoke a reaction, the manners of people on tubes - this weekend I gave up a seat for a pregnant lady and it got taken by this city twat that then ignored my diatribe towards him for being such a dick...  Sometimes I feel like lashing out or giving them a taste of their own medicine, but I don't as that would take me down to a level below them.  I'm not becoming Travis Bickle from Taxi Driver, but sometimes I do get pissed off by the smallest actions of 'human beings'.  Anyway, back to better things...

Friday's show was fine, though there seemed to be something missing from it and Saturday's performance.  Difficult to put a finger on what it was but it didn't have the zip and people were complaining about the cold (it is really quite chilly in that church) so maybe the concentration wasn't all there.  Sat morning I had a blissful lie-in til 11.30, but then raided my room.  There are piles of papers and bills all over the place, so have slept in the 'spare room' the last two nights and will do so until I get it all put away in order on Tuesday.  Felt good doing it, but want to have a couple of hours at least to finish it rather than try to do snatches of it here and there.  Dougie and Rachael (nice lass) came along to see the play as they were in London and a writer pal called Jim was also in that night.  We had a few drinks after and had a good laugh at stag stories and Dougie wearing his brown loafers with his kilt for the Carphone Warehouse awards night.

I was hoping to do a bit on Sunday, but football and exhaustion put paid to that.  We were playing a friendly against a Sunderland supporters team at 11am (early start for a Sunday and it was an hour away from my flat) at the place where the Met train coppers.  It was a crappy day and upon arrival realised that no-one had the kit.  We managed to borrow some and then got told what to do if an alarm went off as a prisoner may escape.  All very weird, but we went ahead, played OK but lost 2-0.  I didn't have time to head home before the show, so went straight down to Hampstead and sat and rested my weary body.  The show started at 4, which made a massive difference as it didn't get dark as the play went on.  Still, I thought it was possibly the best show we've done yet.  I went home to finally dump my stuff, grab a bite to eat and then call Gabi to see what she was up to as she and Jes were in Covent Garden.  Unfortunately, while having a cup of tea and a sit down, I totally fell asleep.  I awoke slumped on the sofa, had the wherewithal to text an apology to Gabi and went and collapsed on the spare room bed.  I had a crappy night's sleep last night, so am still drowsy now.

It was mentioned that the company that have put on Richard III are going to France on a working holiday in August and they still have some parts left that they would like me to audition for.  I like the sound of it, but don't want to over commit myself what with weddings coming up.  Also, it would be down to Work to let me have time off too!  Nice to know there's potential work in the offing though.  I have to say that I am looking forward to having next Sunday and Monday as quiet days.  I think I'm going to have a little break over the following week or so and become a hermit...