Confirmation
Well, it was a nice wee dream while it lasted.
I didn't get the Royal Court job, if you hadn't guessed. To be fair, the cast looks pretty special - full of well known faces and names. Hopefully they'll help Simon get some deserved recognition for a cracking piece of writing. I'm really looking forward to seeing it anyway!
Simon had let me know on Tuesday night, when I was out with some old pals from Mountview, but told me to wait for confirmation. I sat in all last night, checking my hotmail as Al had already been informed via email. For some reason the site was down, so I couldn't see my inbox. I turned to Sky Sports for the Scotland game, which just left me more depressed and then stayed up late watching Full Metal Jacket. I thought about what I'd done in the audition and started over analysing what I'd done. i wondered how far off the pace I was compared to those who got the roles, if it was my look, my demeanour, my CV, my chat? Added to this, my flatmate's alarm kept ringing and I didn't know how to stop it. Just too much for my brain...
Now comes the worst bit - telling people that I haven't got it. It's hard to do as everyone is so excited for you and their disappointment is more than tangible when you break the news. Then you get the 'tough luck', 'chin up' responses that in a strange way make you feel worse as you've heard them so many times before. Mind you, this is less sore in a way. My chin hasn't dropped - I'm still pleased that I even got the audition and any feedback can only help me in the future. I have another short film audition on Monday, am shooting another on Thursday and have the paid reading on Saturday. I'm busier than ever and hopefully it'll just be a matter of time before someone is impressed or I get another break as good as this one was.
I've got the 5 a side drinking session and awards tonight, followed by meeting Mr McChlery on Friday to discuss putting on a play later this year and setting up a company to do it under. Saturday I'm performing in the afternoon and meeting friends and Sunday I'm back on the pitch for the Rob Roys. No time for self pity or mumphing about!! Life's there to be lived...
