Confessions of a Struggling Actor

I can't remember a sustained period when I was so busy.  Certainly not since Mountview.

It's not just acting, my whole life seems to be ganging up on me and demanding my time.  I've tried to keep it quiet this week, but then again, it's not exactly been chilled.  Good news from Work - they're sending me to Barbados for a weekend!!  I head off in a couple of weeks time to adjudicate 8 record attempts over the time I'm there and hopefully get a tan and some time on the beach.  Unfortunately, Monday night's football was a nightmare - we lost 9-1 - and then got stuck on the tube on the way home.  I've had to catch up with domestic issues because I've been out so much and (as ever) I'm not great anytime before noon.  Went shopping in my football kit - drawing both strange and admiring glances from my fellow shoppers.  I then tackled the mountain of dishes that had piled up before calling it a night.

Tuesday I was laid up in bed all day with a stomach bug.  Real bummer as I was supposed to be meeting US Sarah before she left and a few old pals were going to be there. I also knew that it would make the rest of the week at Work worse as I was already off on Thursday for a short film shoot.  I fell in and out of slumber (only waking to visit the bathroom) until 6 pm.  I had tried to stay up, but felt weak as heck so just gave in to it.  At least I had Chelsea-Barca to distract me in the evening, though it wasn't a great game.  As for 'poor Rangers', we're never going to hear the end of it from their fans, but at least they didn't get any further or they might have had to put it on their shirts.  They were a credit to Northern Ireland...

Felt better on Wednesday (not surprising considering I was only awake six hours on Tuesday) and headed into work.  I'm really getting so disillusioned with the place and some of the people there, it's unbelievable.  There's a lack of knowledge and a lack of respect throughout the office.  And some of them are plain stupid.  And some of them are strangling things with red tape and having to have everything checked, double checked and then run past everyone.  I tend to be distracted from my actual job by having to answer inane and easy queries that can easily be solved by searching our systems and using a little thing called common sense.  Just keep looking at the payslip...

Not feeling too happy, I went home to more washing and cleaning the kitchen.  Watched the Arsenal- Real game and treated myself to a couple of beers and a couple of ciggies.  The quitting was going well and it's only this week that I've been back on them and even then, not every day.  I've even tried menthol ones to help me stop, but the pure life does not sit so well with me.  Still I can feel the benefits - I just need to keep acting and exercising to keep me from falling down the same old road.  I also got a text from a certain lady that night which made me rather chipper.  Watched 'A Beautiful Mind' and decided that I should try and model my career on Russell Crowe's.  He's about the same build (I might have to work on my arms) but has a similar kind of non-stereotyping face.  Ah, I can but dream...

Ladies...I have no idea why I seem to be flavour of the moment with them.  Either I'm reading the signs better or flirting has suddenly become very obvious, nay blatant.  I was told I had beautiful eyes by a random, yet pretty girl on the tube this week (can't remember when but it was as she was leaving the train, so no number) and at the film shoot yesterday, I was being TOTALLY flirted with by both the actress opposite and a Kiwi make-up girl who told me she used to be a stripper.  Interesting info to tell a perfect stranger I thought.  I think I'll stop overanalysing what's happening and just enjoy the attention.  In any case, there are only really two girls that I'm properly interested in and REALLY only one that I'm chasing with intent.

Filming went well, even though it was a bit of a strange set up.  There was an entire class doing this and they rotated so that they all got a chance to do the behind the camera stuff.  This meant for an 8 scene short film, we had 8 different directors.  They didn't actually direct us either, but thankfully the class leader was there to inform/interpret and let us know what the plan was.  That aside, it was good fun pretending to be on the run from a strain of bird flu that turns people into crows.  Or at least makes them wear a bird mask...  Had a couple of drinks with the other actors and a couple of cheeky fags.  Stopping drinking is the only sure fire way to quit smoking I think.

Lumbered back looking like a tired malnourished dope fiend (as the make-up girls had left early) and tried to visit a couple of pals who were out (how DARE they!) and so pushed on home, where I found a bill from the Inland Revenue stating that I was owe 500 quid in back dated NI contributions.  Joy!  Still, didn't get me down too much as I was still feeling up from doing the film.  Unfortunately, I have lots of things to worry the finances that have mounted up.  I still need to get an contact lens and eye test and new specs (3 figures), I need to pay my equity subs (3 figures), need to find a new doctor (hopefully free) and dentist (don't know how much THAT will cost).  I have a few physical things troubling me that I want checked out and my gums keep bleeding when I brush my teeth which is not a good sign.  All this happens during a conscious effort to get healthy - what's that about?

Work has been hell today.  My concerns about too much catching up to do were confirmed and I still haven't finished the urgent stuff.  Still, have two more short film auditions on Monday - one at Ealing Studios (very cool) and the other in a pub in Fulham!  I've also got a recall tomorrow for another and yet another person trying to fit me in for their project as they really want to audition me.  It's all very exciting and I'll hopefully get a showreel before the summer as planned.

As for this weekend, I need to try to keep a lid on things as it's nearly payday and have to watch the last of my pennies.  Laura Main's birthday celebrations tonight in Islington, where I'll hopefully see Mark and Sue among others.  Saturday is my day of rest - I have no plans to go out apart from the audition but may see if Gareth and Luke fancy coming round to watch football and play a little Pro Evo 5 on the PS2.  Sunday, I have to continue the scoring streak in 11 a side as I am 3 goals away from a bottle of bubbly, but have Man City to conquer this week and they're supposedly a bit good.  Apart from that, try and continue the domestic revelation and not be seduced by booze and fags - after tonight that is.

Finally a last word from the BBC on my Oscar blag, sorry, opinions:

"Just a quick note to thank you for your hard work on the Oscar panel.

I hope you enjoyed taking part in it. Everyone here - from the site editor down - was really pleased with the results and the quality of the work submitted.

All the submitted pieces were able to go up largely unedited - which is an excellent achievement and a testament to the high standard of the writing.

More than 1.6 million people accessed our Academy Awards coverage on Oscars night alone.

So once again, thank you and good luck with everything in the future."

Maybe I'll see if there are any jobs going...